"Some things change some stay the same."

I seem to be good at screwing things up. I all in all lost tonight what could have been a great friend. And why, because I am a screw up.
My words seem to do so much damage.
As though I can't put my feelings and thoughts in to words very well.
To add to that it seems, Things from my past I thought long forgotten returned. Remembering the things I was told all the time growing up. Evil shrinks giving me a labile. So, I'm crazy but are not we all. All things I wont go into.

A lot has gone wrong as of late. Sure bad things happen everyone gets hurt now and again. But when is it too much? Is there a feeling. Like your chest getting tight making it hard to breath or your heart feeling as though it will shatter on it's next beat..... Don't know.
Something good needs to happen, more so I would say I need a miracle.

Love or the feelings of that. Can be so evil. I have been hurt more times then I can count or care to remember. They say time heals all wounds. It seems time has become more of a curse. They say there is someone for everyone. yep, but not everyone is lucky enough to find them. I don't know if I will. I am not sure if I could open up enough to really let someone in.

Sure get out meet new people make new friends here and out in real world. but I am no good with people. To shy, to quite, to something. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me. Why it is so hard to make friends. Am I really that bad of a person?

So now, that's really all I can say. Sure I could say more, but no need.Whats done is done. As well I don't want to lose what little there is. For what I have right now is being held by the thinnest of wire. Not sure if one or the other will read this, but if they do I hope they understand it's just a little vent I had to get out.
SO I have to be good. Only happy nice things. That's what we need to work on. However I can. I find peace in the darkness, so there I will start. I could really use a hug. Oh well, chicken wire.